small girl vs. big city

age…less. worry…some, but not too much. love…no less that with every fiber of your being. friends…are not forever. appreciate them while you have them. family…ties you to everything you need for your journey throughout life. seasons change.

last week, I learned I am capable of being awake about 23hours, and working 20 of those hours. without coffee or soda…

but why am I working so hard? look deeper than the paycheck…
my city, my great love. I do believe I may be falling out of love with you. the season is changing. the sun now sets just out of my window’s view. its cold, I’ve had to shut my windows. and so, my view, is greeted by my reflection.

private dinner parties at 32million dollar mansions, “the mansion”, pool parties, birthday parties, white parties on yachts, sundays in malibu, mischief, celebrities, clubs, restaurants, parties, SCENES … oh I could write a book. but…Really? Really.

the life … that everyone from bored housewives desperate for their own scandal to naive teen girls starving themselves to mimick… all wonder about…

the same all wonder why moths fixate on flame.

most of those people aren’t truly happy. some are happy, yes. but there is a lot of empiness in this town. so many lights, so many parties- reasons to never be alone. with their thoughts.

what. would happen. if they stopped. just for a second. TO THINK. stop the networking, lounging, the pretending, the fronting, the planning or attending events, the spending, the stuffing of pricey objects into huge voids that can not be filled with *things*.

what would you think if you stopped to stare at the reflection between you and what you think you want…

what’s the difference between cutting your losses and changing your mind

at what point do you make up your mind?

what.

is.

next?

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